Conversations That Probably Never Happened

Larry Bird and Dwight D. Eisenhower

dyan f. — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:24:53 +0000

LARRY BIRD and DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER are waiting under a bus shelter. They are silent. A 145 bus pulls up to the bus stop. LARRY BIRD motions for DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER to board first. EISENHOWER nods a “Thank you.” EISENHOWER feeds his fare card into the pay box, and sits in the first seat behind the BUS DRIVER. BIRD feeds a handful of coins into the pay box. It is not enough.

BUS DRIVER

Sorry sir, but you’re twenty cents short.

BIRD

Oh, I’m sorry, I could’ve sworn I counted out two twenty-five.

EISENHOWER hands BIRD some change.

BIRD

Thank you so much, sir.

BIRD feeds the change into the pay box.

EISENHOWER

I’ve always got change rattling around in my pockets. Comes in handy in times like this.

BIRD

I really appreciate it.

BIRD sees a seat open up in the back of the bus.

BIRD cont.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it.

EISENHOWER

Have a good one!

EISENHOWER pulls out a newspaper and starts reading as BIRD moves to the back of the bus.

Shirley Temple and Frankie Valli

dyan f. — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 03:29:16 +0000

FRANKIE VALLI is loading groceries onto the conveyer belt at the checkout lane where SHIRLEY TEMPLE is working the register.

SHIRLEY TEMPLE
Hi there, how’re you doing today?

FRANKIE VALLI
I’m good, and yourself?

TEMPLE
Just great, thanks.

SHIRLEY TEMPLE scans a bag of potato chips.

TEMPLE
Oh these are terrific, you’d never guess they were baked and not fried.

VALLI
They’re delicious, but it’s hard to stop after one serving.

TEMPLE
Tell me about it! Did you have your preferred card?

FRANKIE VALLI reaches for his keychain.

VALLI
I took my wife’s car today and she doesn’t have a card on her key chain.

TEMPLE
Don’t worry about it, I’ll scan mine.

VALLI
Thank you so much.

TEMPLE
No problem. Your total is $26.45.

FRANKIE VALLI swipes a bank card.

TEMPLE
Is that credit or debit?

VALLI
Credit.

TEMPLE
Okay, you are all set. Did you need any help taking your bags out to your car?

VALLI
No thank you, I’ll be okay.

TEMPLE
Have a good day!

VALLI
You too.

FRANKIE VALLI leaves the store.

Tom Brokaw and Josh Groban

dyan f. — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:27:32 +0000

TOM BROKAW and JOSH GROBAN sit across the table from each other in a booth at a diner. Tom Brokaw is eating a BLT with a bowl of tomato soup, while Josh Groban snacks on a plate of french fries with a side of ranch dressing.

GROBAN

Are you going to eat that pickle?

BROKAW

I was going to but…

JOSH GROBAN cuts him off.

GROBAN

No, I was just asking ’cause I thought you weren’t going to eat it. Go ahead and eat it.

TOM BROKAW grabs a knife and starts cutting the pickle.

BROKAW

No, no, no, at least have half of it. I’m starting to get full anyway.

GROBAN

No, I don’t really want it. I just thought you weren’t going to eat it. Please, I don’t want it.

This irritates TOM BROKAW. TOM BROKAW picks up his plate and slides half of the pickle onto JOSH GROBAN’s plate. In the process of doing this he loses the grip of his fork, and it falls and loudly clatters as it hits JOSH GROBAN’s plate.

BROKAW

Why don’t you just eat the damned pickle? (He stands up, reaches for his wallet, and pulls out a twenty-dollar bill.) Here, I’ve got to get going.

GROBAN

Hang on, I’ve got change.

BROKAW

No, don’t bother, this one’s on me. I’ll talk to you later.

TOM BROKAW puts on the coat and hat that were hanging on the hook next to their booth. He does not look back at JOSH GROBAN, but he mumbles a cordial “goodbye” to the woman at the counter as he leaves.